No sweat on the bench

Even hundreds of thousands of years ago, humans enjoyed walking around naked, especially when it was particularly warm or when they went swimming. Over time, they then elevated to an upright position and began to cover sensitive body parts with furs or branches. During the rise of bathing culture, people’s sense of shame developed to such an extent that they began to wear beautifully designed swimwear, which later became increasingly skimpy for fashion reasons. Nowadays we live in ambivalent times, where different cultures come together, and with them different ideas of shame. This is especially true for visitors to the beautiful pool landscapes, steam baths and sauna areas of luxury hotels.

We won’t beat about the bush: the Finnish tradition of going into the sauna completely naked and then plunging naked into the ice water is not the status quo everywhere. Nor is the idea of men and women saunaing in their birthday suits together. For this reason, some establishments have separate textile-free zones. It avoids confusion and discomfort. Some people, however, are determined not to shed their Lycra swimming trunks or bikinis even in these conditions. To them, it should be pointed out that the reasons for taking a sauna unclothed are mainly practical: textiles, especially synthetic fabrics, make sweating more difficult and sometimes release unpleasant odours or even harmful substances at high temperatures.

Let us now turn to the most important rule: shower first, bathe second. Every hotel spa has changing areas with wonderful showers and deliciously scented shower gels. Feel free to make extensive use of these facilities in order to rinse off the remaining sweat, perfume, cream or make-up on your body. However, out of consideration for subsequent guests, you should always refrain from shaving your legs, chest or other body hair.

When you’re done, slip into the bathrobe provided and approach the pool or sauna with a friendly expression on your face. If possible, you should only take off your bathrobe when you actually enter the water, steam bath or sauna cabin. There are hooks for hanging up bathrobes – simply dropping them on the floor is not an option. Before taking a seat on the bench, spread out your towel to sit or lie on. Make sure that you are sitting or lying completely on your sauna towel. This prevents sweat from dripping onto the sauna bench. After all, you probably do not wish to come into contact with the bodily fluids of other sauna guests any more than they do with yours. Avoid loud conversations with the person sitting next to you (a brief whisper is OK) – it’s about switching off, not chatting! Unsolicited comments (‘Gosh, it’s hot in here!’) are just as taboo as intrusive or even suggestive looks.

After cooling off under the shower or in the ice bath, it’s off to the relaxation room. As soon as you no longer need the lounger or armchair, you must take your towel with you. What is absolutely not acceptable is reserving your favourite lounger with an arrangement of towels, books, magazines, swimming goggles, and so on and so forth, even though the thought of spending the whole day here has not even crossed your mind. Which brings us to another bad habit – the long phone call. The sauna area is absolutely not the place to give instructions by telephone, agree on strategies or comment on the results of football matches.

We all have people in our lives we rather would not meet, especially not in our free time and even less so in the spa area of a hotel. But what if it does happen? What if you bump into your boss or an unpopular col league in the sauna? What should you say and where should you look when the CEO of a competitor firm suddenly stands in front of you naked as the day she was born? Running away would not be cool. Simply stay calm and say hello in a friendly tone. If possible, sit on the same side, but not directly next to the person concerned. That way, you can avoid any more enforced contact or conversations. One more thing: masseurs and physiotherapists can be our dearest friends when we treat them with respect. A smile, a friendly greeting and then onto the massage table you go – freshly showered and with neatly trimmed toenails. And on time at the agreed hour. During the treatment, never moan with delight or give commands (‘Harder, harder!’). As in all service professions, the therapist will be pleased to receive a little recognition at the end of the massage. Around ten percent of the treatment price is a good amount.

Words Thomas Garms